Whenever someone asked me what was your first kiss like? There would be awkward silence and I would blurt ‘I never really kissed someone’ or ‘I never got the chance too’. People would never believe me. At 26 years, they thought I am some kind of nun, or asexual. Such instances only made me think and rethink about ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Am I not giving right signals to guys? Or do I distance myself from prospective right guys?
Well, now I have an answer for that question. You know what? I didn’t do it on purpose or plan to do it. Neither because I was fed up of people’s questions nor I was desperate act (26 years I didn’t do it, I very well was waiting for the right moment).
You know, being an Indian girl in the foreign country even these westerners are reluctant to make a move. They don’t want to offend us Desi girls. So, I had to be proactive.
I would hangout with one of my Asian-American friend past 6 months ie. from 1st few weeks of my classes in the fall semester. He seemed to be interested and we would constantly text to each other until past 1 month. Thats where we had minor tiffs and arguments and stopped speaking. I really missed our conversations or, I don’t know if I missed him more. So, some one had to take the 1st step and I texted him. After talking things out we were back together to being friends. May be I wanted to explore our relationship and see where it goes as I know him well anyone else in this country. Does it sound like I am into him ? Hmm, may be. He is bit chubby for my standards but he has lady like hands, way more open and touchy than what I am. And, I like it because I don’t have any of those qualities.
Yesterday night he invited me to hangout at a bar with his friends. I have social anxiety but I gathered courage and said yes. It was fun group and got drunk over cider, vodka and fire-ball. That’s quite some cocktail isn’t it? I thought I could handle it but I was so drunk that he had to handle me. LO. Me , him and his friends took a stroll from the bar to get some kimchi fries.
I walked on the streets of Houston holding a guys hand. This was my first time holding a guys hand in public. Well there not many spectators, that kept my anxiety at bay. As we waited for some fries, I was so stoned I had to lean against his chest while he rested his chin over my head. Yeah, I am like 5.1 and he towers me by a foot easily. I found it cute. And, by then I was getting comfortable to his advances. After, we grabbed our fries and chattered with friends. We all took our separate ways. Me and him went back to bar to get his debit card, which he accidentally left there.
I wanted to pee and headed to the rest room. While I was coming out one of his friends said he was looking for me. He was sitting by a table and waiting. I spotted him, walked up to him and sat on his lap. Then we decided to head back home. Before getting up, I just turned to him and stole a kiss. That is officially my first kiss! It was so spontaneous that it happened like any casual gesture. Until he texted me describing what I did and it is going to be his one of his favorite memories. That was the sweetest of words I heard today after the crazy yesterday night which were driving me crazy.
It will go into my favorite memories too. A lot of things after we drove back to my apartment. We kissed for over 15 minutes (seemed like I was hungry) and them made out. Well, dirty minds! No, we didn’t do hanky panky.boo. But, there was some tongue involved. Well, that bars it from calling it a making out, is it? Hehe
I am not sure where our relationship heads in future. For now, At the least I know that I am a great kisser and spontaneous, which is a new thing I discovered about myself. And, I have a story to tell about my first kiss.
The hangover from yesterday night’s alcohol and our make out session is wearing off. The memories linger in my mind. I need to concentrate on my studies, but I can’t stop blushing thinking about the last night. I don’t know if I can handle this, because I consciously stopped myself from getting into relationship as I don’t want to end up getting hurt. I don’t know if I am a game for it. Sometimes, I feel it is better to indulge than die out of curiosity, isn’t it? They say magic happens outside ones comfort zone. I just crossed mine. Will I be able to cross it more often? This was a big leap for me from being called nun to indulging to my sex drive. Only time will tell.
So, guys what was your first kiss like? What’s one of your favorite memorie? Do share. I look forward to reading them in
Hopless Wanderer 